In which I review Twilight and In Defense of Food

I have this huge paper due tomorrow. Six to eight pages about a library observation I did throughout the semester. Naturally, I used this weekend to read two unrelated books and watch a gazillion movies. Let's procrastinate even more as I babble on about two books.


Yes, I read this book. My co-worker read it and loved it so she wanted me to read it. Apparently, while reading it she thought of me and wanted me to read it because she thought I would love it. Man, do I not want to go to work on Wednesday. To be fair, I didn't hate the book. I thought the story got more interesting as the book progressed although it ended abruptly, I thought. The writing style is not my cup of tea and I found it cliché a lot but I know that if I were a fourteen year old girl, I would drink this up like it was diet Mountain Dew (hey, I only drink diet pop now, sue me). I've never been terribly impressed with vampires. I liked Dracula and Interview with a Vampire but that's about it. I've watched specials about vampires and things because I think scary stories are great, but I also will watch them about werewolves with the same apathetic attitude. Anyway, the book. Basically, it was a really angsty teen romance in which one of the characters happened to be a vampire. The language was very flowery and dramatic and felt like a diary entry at times. Like if I were writing a diary that I secretly wanted people to read one day, I would write like this. Now, who am I to talk about good things vs. crappy things being published. I've never been published and I'm crap at writing fiction. But I read a lot of it. And I'd like to think that I'm a good judge of books. So there.

One of the reasons I wanted to read this book was because the waiting list for reading the series through my library is over 100 people long. Like the Harry Potter books, I wanted to find out what all the hullabaloo was about. And I'm impatient so I jumped on my co-worker's offer to borrow it. Now, I'm probably going to read the rest of the books, I'll admit, in the same way I had to watch all "Saw" movies: I have to know what happens. My curiosity far outweighs my low tolerance for crappy stories. But I still refuse to see "Firefly" for those keeping track at home. On principle. I found myself thinking that maybe Boyfriend's high school age niece would love these books. I am glad that there are these series of books that give young people the enthusiasm to read, however. Granted, I wish they would open their minds a little bit but I can't convince every teenager to read Neil Gaiman. I'd probably be upset if they did anyway; I'm hypocritical that way. Bottom line: if you want to know what the kids are up to, read this book. If you really don't care or are not impressed by lines like "'Yes, you're exactly my brand of heroin'" save your time. I mainly read it today to avoid my paper anyway.


The book that I absolutely want everyone to read right now is In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. This book is amazing. It talks about the "Western Diet" and how it has lead to diseases like diabetes, cancer and heart disease. I've struggled with my weight over the last couple of years (oh, and forever) and eating healthy. This book made me really think about what I'm putting into my body. Basically, the tenets of the book are "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." The author goes on to explain these sentences in more detail later in the book. He says that the best way to combat these diseases are to make sure the foods you eat aren't processed and don't have any hard to pronounce words. I've already been losing weight through eating smaller portions and slightly more often throughout the day and I think that this book can help with altering the thinking of most people.

I don't have the time sometimes to make the dinners that I want but I'm slowly learning to prepare meals once a week for all week long. I also watched "Supersize Me" this weekend and this has also contributed to my change in thinking. I'm going to try really hard to make my own food from now on as much as possible. It should also save me money in the long run, which is a good thing. I've already found sources for local eggs and I'm going to start buying meat that is only grass-fed. I really recommend this book, way more so over Twilight although they are in very different categories.

Today is officially the last day of NaBloPoMo but I am going to keep writing on a regular basis. I feel kind of guilty for not posting every day like I should have and I tried to make up for it as much as possible. I realize that writing has helped me "get my feelings out" a lot (man, it's like I'm IN that vampire book) and I think that I should continue. I can't rely solely on the Prozac in the winter. So keep reading!

DEEEETROIT BASKETBALL!

Boyfriend had some of his friends come out last night and we all went to a Pistons game and got into some shenanigans. We had planned this for a while because we would be unable to get home for Thanksgiving and one of his friends was going to be in England over Christmas taking his British girlfriend back home. The tickets were a super good price but apparently there were some problems with credit cards and what not. There was a moment where we thought we wouldn't be able to go; luckily, we were able to get the Palace of Auburn Hills to issue us enough seats in the very back row of the stadium.

If you look closely at the ticket, you can see the words "partially obstructed" on the bottom. We were hoping that we wouldn't be sitting behind a dumpster or anything like that. Really, "partially obstructed" meant that we were in the back row of the press section where we would need to stand up to see it. It wasn't that bad, actually. The basketball players are tall enough that they didn't look like ants and they had the game on the Jumbotron, which helped.

This was my first Pistons game, actually my first professional basketball game. Emma, the English girl, had never seen a basketball game at all. I actually wouldn't mind going again to a game but hopefully with better seats. The crowd was really energized. The only thing that was weird was actually getting to our seats. There was an elevator that would take us up but it took forever to get a car that was empty enough for the six of us to squeeze in. We asked people where the stairs were and we got multiple answers ranging from "oh, there aren't stairs to that level," "well, you can use the emergency stairwell but I can't promise you the door will open up when you get there," and "they're between these seats." When we tried to find them between the sections we were shooed away because we didn't have tickets in that section. Finally, when the game was over, we walked down the hall and DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS TO THE NEXT LEVEL. So... thanks Palace employees for not letting us get exercise. The Pistons won and it was really awesome. I had talked to one of my friends the day before and he had just seen the Orlando Magic play the Milwaukee Bucks (who the Pistons played last night) and said that the Pistons would pretty much kill them. The game was closer that I would have expected but I was really impressed with the Pistons. I've never been a basketball fan, or really any kind of a sports fan, but there is something to being at a game that makes me interested in them.

After the game, we wanted to go out to the bar, although I was the designated driver so I wasn't too concerned with the drinking. Boyfriend wanted to take them to this really awesome bar called Gusoline Alley but when we got there, they were at capacity. Maybe this is just me showing how uncool I am and not used to the bar scene, but almost all of the bars we tried to go to had lines out the door or were super, super packed. We finally were able to get into one bar but we wanted somewhere to sit down. We decided to find somewhere closer to the apartment and ended up going to this restaurant/bar called Royal Kubo. I had been invited there by my cousin a while ago but I didn't end up going so I wasn't sure what to expect. That place was crowded and so so loud. I ended up only having one drink that night but combined with the loud bar and staying out until 2:30 a.m. made me a zombie today. I've basically been sitting around in my pajamas drinking tea and watching movies. Which is really nice but would be better if my throat didn't feel like I swallowed a sword. The moral of this story: I'm getting old and my healthy eating habits don't really allow room for partying. Which is fine, I'd rather keep this weight off than drink a million drinks in one night. By the way, I'm officially down 16 pounds! Whoo!

THANKSGIVING!

Man, I'm so bad at posting every day. Anyway, yesterday was Thanksgiving and Boyfriend and I had our own little Thanksgiving because he had to work so we weren't able to make it home. It was a lot of fun. I'm not sure if I could ever have the patience to cook a full meal for tons of people, but it was a lot of fun having just the two of us in the kitchen. We made two steaks, mashed potatoes, asparagus and candied sweet potatoes. I could only eat two out of those four but that's ok. I did have tiny tastes of the other two.

This was the first time either of us had made mashed potatoes and they turned out wonderful. I'm glad I have a potato masher. Boyfriend made the sweet potatoes and the recipe we found called for brown sugar, which we both thought we had. When we couldn't find any, he decided to substitute maple syrup and I think some Agave nectar. They tasted really, really good but definitely maple-y. That's not a bad thing, though. Boyfriend is really good at making steaks, as evidenced by this picture. I've never had steaks like the ones he's made. I'm not usually a steak kind of girl, but I might be converted. The hard part about living in an apartment is the tiny kitchen. I would love to have a giant kitchen some day with tons of counter space. I think it would be fun to cook a huge dinner for about twenty people but I'm totally not ready for that yet. Plus, this made a special day for the two of us.

This is what our dinner looked all laid out on the table. Yes, those are Batman placemats, yes, Boyfriend is drinking a giant beer. It's Thanksgiving! Here's another picture of him digging into his food. Which is not staged at all. I suppose it wouldn't have hurt to get a couple pictures of me but I was in my pajamas. Which is another thing I'm thankful for about this Thanksgiving. I could sit around in my pajamas and be not showered because it's my apartment, dammit. So I took pictures of the one of us that had showered in the morning.

I was also invited to my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Dan's house to spend Thanksgiving with some of my dad's side of the family. It was really nice to see all my aunts and uncles and cousins. They asked me tons of questions about my schooling, Boyfriend, working and things like that. I "accidentally" ate a bunch of food that I shouldn't have, though. I kind of felt guilty but when I got home, I cleaned up the entire apartment for the most part. So I'm sure that I burned up all or most of those calories. It feels so good to have the apartment this clean. I'm hoping I can stay on top of it so it doesn't get messy again.

These are my confessions....

Ok, I have to say something about this. I've been dealing with these... feelings for a while and I haven't really told anyone outside of my apartment. At first I was ashamed of how I felt but then I realized, you know what? Who gives a shit? I am my own person and I can feel whatever I want to feel. I thought that in the interest of opening my soul, I would share my feelings here, because you care, and because I felt that I should post some juicy info as an excuse for not posting for the last couple days.

I've been too busy... listening to Beyonce. I know, I know. I never thought it would be like this. I always regarded Beyonce, and pop music in general, with the anti-Lauren. Sure, there was that one time I started listening to Journey to be ironic and then started to really like Journey. And that time when I thought I liked the Spice Girls. This is serious. I think that it started last week when she was on Saturday Night Live. She sang her newest hit, "Single Ladies", and I couldn't get it out of my head. Or the dancing! I am obsessed right now with learning the dance to this song. I blame that on all of this extra energy that I've had since losing weight. But seriously, I like Beyonce. I think she's amazing.

I solidified my feelings when she was the only guest on Ellen's talk show yesterday. She sang the "Single Ladies" song along with another song that she performed on SNL. I didn't like that song when it was on SNL, I think because I was shocked by this creature. But after the Ellen show, I kind of like that song, too. Don't get me wrong, I still adore Morrissey, the Smiths, the Clash, Led Zeppelin, and many others. But I've found the missing piece in my musical life. And that is: Booty Music.

headache

This weekend was spent in front of the computer, almost all day, every day. I should have updated but my head hurts so much from staring at this screen that the only thing I did *not* want to do was update. I've been working on this group project with my group member and we've been chatting on-line while trying to figure this out. We each had to make a five minute video about a topic that we chose and then put it together. The problem was that the files weren't merging correctly and then it wouldn't upload at all. The video was too big or something and kept crashing the site. So we worked for five hours Friday, just as many hours yesterday and it's still finishing up today. I am just waiting for it to upload to my site so I can check it out. This has been one headache of a project and I'm so glad that it's over. I can't really think of anything else. My brain can't think of anything else. I'll try to think of interesting things to talk about that aren't my stupid video project.

Dinner fiasco.

One of the things that I'm glad I'm doing is eating more vegetables. I've gotten very good at cooking all kinds of vegetables that I never really cooked before. And I've gotten adventurous, too. I bought an eggplant the other day because I thought it would be fun to make it. I could remember having eggplant in a stir fry once and not minding it. Because this next week I'm going on a little "resetting my metabolism" week, I can only eat green vegetables. I thought tonight would be a good night to use the eggplant.

I found this recipe on-line that required using eggs and baking the eggplant with some spices. So I decided that I could invent something. I took some EggBeaters and mixed pepper, paprika, and chili powder together. Then I cut up the eggplant and soaked it in the batter and put them in two pans to bake.


Here's what they looked like before I put them in the oven. It didn't look too bad and I was kind of excited to eat it. Since Boyfriend was at work, I asked my roommate if she would want some and she said that she would. So I baked the eggplant for a half an hour while I finished up a school project.


When the food was done, I took it out of the oven. I could see that some of the slices were still wet from the egg batter but I figured it didn't matter. I grabbed a bowl and scooped up some slices and headed into my room.


It didn't look that much different when I took it out. It definitely looked baked and it looked pretty good. I took one bite and thought, "hey, this isn't so bad. Kind of chewy but good." About halfway through the piece, the taste of old socks showed up. I kept chewing, thinking maybe I was imagining it. I ate another piece and it was not my imagination. Baked eggplant = awful. I'm sure there's a way to bake it that would make it not taste like dirty socks but there are only so many things that I can eat right now and I'm pretty sure that "magical eggplant juice" is not on that list. In a little bit I'm headed off to Meijer to buy non-dirty sock tasting foods. Sigh.

Books are all created equal.

Tonight the library was super slow. So I went around and was trying to pick stuff up and push in chairs to get out of there as fast as possible. I was cleaning up around the study rooms and I noticed a cup under one of the study tables. I picked it up and it was full of chicken bones. And the cup was covered in what must have been congealed grease or something. The creepy thing is that I have no idea how long that was there. It must have been a few days at least. Thanks, library patrons.

There was an interaction between a patron and a co-worker that made me think about how I was raised and how I was as an early reader. A woman came in with her three girls and they ended up picking up about 20 books or so. The girls were probably eight and under. She somehow knew one of my co-workers (I'm the youngest one working there and most of the women have children) so my co-worker was ringing her up. They came across the book Serendipity by Stephen Cosgrove and the mom told my co-worker, "I don't think I want that one... it looks weird." So my co-worker tossed the book on the floor and distracted the girl who picked it out so she wouldn't notice it not being checked out. Now, I remember reading these books when I was little. After searching through the author's book titles, I can remember more of his books than I thought.

I wanted to be sure that I wasn't censored like this as a child so I called Kathy who was our nanny when my sister and I were growing up. She's a really great friend of ours now and we stay in touch a lot. I asked her if she would ever not let us check books out. She said that we pretty much could check out anything that was at our reading level. When I told her about the exchange at my work, she thought it was kind of weird, too. Kathy also said that as long as it was from the kids section, we were allowed to check it out. If she wasn't sure about a book she would read through it with us but she never just looked at the cover and wouldn't let us get it.

When the patron left, I read through the book to see if I remembered it. It's a story about a sea serpent who doesn't know what she is so she travels the sea to try to find something like her. I think the moral of the story is basically that everyone can fit in somewhere, even if they look different. The serpent, Serendipity, even becomes a guardian of the seas. I think that kids should be able to read whatever they can. Especially when TV is much more prevalent in households than it was when I was growing up. Should kids really be taught to judge a book by its cover? As long as it's within their reading level, they should be able to read it, right? I was especially frustrated because the mom looked relatively young. Within ten years of my age I would guess. It just makes me think about how I would raise my kids, if I ever have them.

Why isn't this week over?

I hate my job. Well, one of my jobs. I came to this conclusion last weekend and today I've confirmed it. I feel so out of place there. It was different when I worked for the company in Portage, but here, I just feel like an accessory. Take today for example: one of the architects can't organize his workspace. He has old project files everywhere and they're in his way. As a project manager, he should be responsible for cleaning up his files and destroying them. But because he is so incompetent, I'm the one who has to do it. I have to physically read almost all of his files to find the ones he wants to keep and pitch the rest. The worst thing is, my boss won't stand up to him and tell him to do his own damn cleaning. I started doing this for him a month ago and when I started, I had to sit at his desk and ask him, "do you want to keep this file? what about this one?" This is so frustrating.

It's even more frustrating because I want to be able to get a paid internship or a graduate assistanceship but I'm nervous that I won't get one. And I wish that I made enough money to just quit my job. Grrr... I'm frustrated. I just want this semester to end.

Adventures in parking.

This is the purse I'm currently using. I found it in a box of winter clothes as I was putting my summer clothes away and decided to use it. It was my grandmother's but she never used it. This purse is a lot smaller than my other purse which is partly why I chose it. That and my left shoulder was about to murder me in my sleep for putting too much in my purse. I have this "purse organizer" that my sister got me for Christmas a while ago and the idea is that you just transfer the organizer from purse to purse. This lovely yellow purse is not big enough to fit it all and close it properly. Or at all. So I transferred my essentials to the purse and started using it.

Boyfriend kind of thinks the purse is silly but I've gotten quite a few complements on it and I kind of love it. It even goes with my awesome red winter coat. So every Monday I have my one class that's actually on campus and I wanted to head there early to finish my homework that was due. I left right after I got out of work and after changing. The really convenient thing about parking at Wayne State is that you just use your school I.D. to head into the parking structure. It automatically takes money off your card every time so you don't have to worry about carrying cash (which I don't really do anymore, lest I get asked for money and drugs again). This is a far superior method of parking to Western Michigan where it's basically a free-for-all. The parking structures at Wayne even tell you if they're full or not. Neat, huh?

I'm heading to campus and I'm just about to turn onto Anthony Wayne Drive when I realize my school I.D. is still in my other purse at home! I tried to use my debit card to get into the parking structure but the machines are apparently smarter than I thought. So I drive around a little bit thinking, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," and find a little parking lot that let's anyone in but you pay when you leave. I parked my car and ran up to the little booth and asked the guy if there was a way I could park here or get someone to let me into the parking structure because I left my I.D. at home. He told me that the parking lot I was standing in only took cash, which I didn't really have, so I should leave now if I wanted to really park my car and not sleep in it over night. He said that he could call over to the other parking structure and let them know I was coming and they could help me get in. Then we both realize that there's been a miscommunication... A BIG FAT ONE. He thought that my I.D. just wasn't working but I was really asking him if I could use my debit or a credit card to access the parking structure. He said, "the only way you can park on campus anywhere is either by having cash or using you I.D." Great.

I remember that when I bought coffee earlier, it didn't cost me that much so I actually had a couple bucks! And some change! I drove to the parking structure after scrounging up the right about of change to put into the machine. I start feeding the dollar bills in and they keep coming back out. This happens for a few minutes but it felt like ten days. Meanwhile, there are about five cars behind me and they start honking and giving me dirty looks. Awesome. I was able to get some quarters in the machine but all I had left were some dimes which the machine does not take. So I hopped out of my car and ran to the next car in line and begged the dude to trade me ones. He looked disgusted and was all, "I'm not sure it's going to work." I ran back to my car, squeezed into the driver's side, and THESE DOLLAR BILLS WORKED! But they were in worse shape than the ones that I had. But I finally got to park and feel like a giant douche today. Hooray for Mondays!

Library story

A young kid, about four, comes into the library with his father.

Father: I want to get my son a library card.

Son: I want a pink one!

Father: You want a pink one?!

Me: Well, all we have are blue ones, is that ok?

Son: Yeah...

Father: Blue is for boys anyway.

Son: Pink is for girls!

I'm learning to be more tolerant of young kids while working at the library. Especially when they're adorable like this kid. Although I'm not sure if I should put "has a new fondness for children" on my resume. Too creepy...

the Detroit Urban Craft Fair

Today I went to the Detroit Urban Craft Fair at the Fillmore in downtown Detroit. It used to be the State Theatre and sits right across from Comerica Park. My original plan was to park at the Opera House for free and walk the couple blocks there. Unfortunately, it was pouring. So I spent six bucks to park next to the theater.

This event was super fun, although perhaps I spent a bit too much money. There were so many unique handmade items, I couldn't wrap my head around everything. I only spent about an hour there because it was so crowded and I was afraid I'd end up buying more things. Vendors ranged from handmade clothes, jewelry, stuffed animals and paper sculptures. One of the first things I saw was a table full of yards of fabrics from designers like Amy Butler and cool retro fabrics. I ended up buying four different yards. The company was called Crafty Planet. Here are a couple of fabrics I bought.


I thought I could make this into a cute skirt or bag. I tried to find fabrics that matched but I have a hard time picking out things that go together. I really liked the bold flowers and the simple design. It reminded me of "The Royal Tenenbaums" some how.


I can't decide if I want to make this into a shirt or a skirt. The problem with the fabrics only being a yard long is that I'm limited in what I can do with them. But I might devote Thanksgiving weekend to sewing up some cool clothes.


The inside of the Fillmore is gorgeous. I think it's an old theater and it's decorated in the same style as the Opera House, very decadent. I was hoping that by the time I got there at 4:30, maybe there wouldn't be that many people. I was completely wrong though. There were a few times where I wanted to look at something but had to circle around a few other tables and come back when there was a spot. I was also thinking that most of the vendors would be local but there were a lot from out of state. I later found out that one of the sponsors was BUST magazine, an awesome crafty and liberal women's magazine that I love. Another thing I found funny was that I recognized at least two people from the Library and Information Science Program. Library school kids are crafty kids, too.


There was a great booth with a stand up monster but I couldn't get close enough to see what they were all about. One of the reasons I'm happy living in Detroit is there are so many unique arts and craft fairs like this one. This is the first that I've been able to attend and I'm sad that this Urban Craft Fair only happens once a year but I gathered so many business cards for future sales. I also feel more confident in wanted my make my own Christmas presents this year. It also makes me think that if I can get to a point where I can create clothes in a short amount of time, maybe I can sell my own stuff somewhere. I love supporting handmade crafts.


I bought some birch bark earrings from a table called bettula. The earrings were all so unique I couldn't help but want them. Especially since I'll be able to wear them soon. She also sold birch bark bracelets that clasped with a magnet. I think I want to get a better camera because I can't figure out how to focus better. You can kind of see how they curve under a little bit. The back side is a lighter tan, almost white. The girl selling them said the clasps can be worn either way so both sides can be shown.


I also found some vintage-looking earrings from Mimi & Ferne. Again with the camera issues, so I wish the bright orange would show up better. There's also a little decorative piece on the front of the clasp. It's kind of clamshell-like.





The last thing I bought was a cute headband from Talking Squid. I have a weakness for companies that use aquatic animals in their names. And to things with that are bright yellow green. I always say that I'm going to wear headbands. This time I actually mean it.

The craft fair was really awesome. It made me love living on this side of the state even more. The girl I bought the birch earrings from knew about Kalamazoo and I told her how I do still like it (mostly) but that my favorite places kept dying. The sad thing about Detroit is that the middle of the city is dying but there are so many awesome events surrounding it. Hopefully, whoever becomes the new mayor will help it along even further. The craft fair could happen more often, too. I did manage to snag some flyers for some upcoming craft shows. I'm excited to start on my Christmas presents, too. I highly recommend checking out the links I put in here to support these creative people.

This post brought to you by: Jack Daniels bourbon. And the letter Q.

Wow. This week has been extremely stressful. I have been wrestling with HTML all week long. At first, the server wouldn't work. Then, I couldn't access my page to make edits from the Windows side of my computer. I called in sick Wednesday to work on this assignment but I was not able to get very far. I sent multiple e-mails to my teacher along with posting on the discussion board for this class. Nothing that was suggested to me helped. I didn't go to my internship yesterday to work on this assignment. I called into work again today to work on it. Last night was particularly rough. I couldn't get to sleep until 1:00 am and then I woke up at 5:30 am and I couldn't get back to sleep until 7 am. So... great. I finally got help from my wonderful friend Sarah! And everything is fixed! And I turned it in!

I decided that this occasion called for a whiskey. I'm technically not supposed to drink but that really only means I can't drink beer. I went to this really crappy bar down the street from my apartment. It wasn't quite seven so I figured it would be really easy to sit at the bar, drink my whiskey and go home. The bar was packed! The only seat I could find was between these two old regulars. So I just drank my whiskey as fast as I could and now I'm home. Thankfully done with this assignment. I totally deserved this whiskey. And I'm down a pound since Wednesday! Hooray!

Kids are weird. And demanding.

First of all, before I forget: I work for a library that's part of this library network. Basically, there are 90 some libraries that are linked through this system to enable users to borrow books from any of those libraries. It's a really neat system because you can ask for a book to be sent from Library A and pick it up at Library B. And you can drop your books of at any of the libraries and they'll find their way to the home library they belong to. One of my jobs is to send the books on their way as I'm discharging books. I have to write the library number and the abbreviation on a tag and wrap the book up to go. The abbreviations are four letters. One of the libraries is the Milford Public Library. I'll let you guess the abbreviation. Find the answer at the bottom of the post.*

Another thing I've noticed at the library is the number of refugees who relocate to this area. Today a couple came in to ask about using the internet and possibly getting a library card later. They were both refugees from Iraq. I'm not certain if this happened in my hometown or not but it's interesting to be aware of it. I can also notice the big difference between how I talk to these people and how my co-workers talk to them. I make sure to be nice and friendly and understand them as best I can. My co-workers immediately start talking ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND IN A VERY STERN VOICE. They get frustrated by these patrons very easily. Personal differences, I guess.

I stayed home from the Opera House today because this HTML assignment has my panties up in a bunch. I cannot for the life of me figure out why some parts will upload through the Mac side of my computer and some will only upload through the PC side of my computer. I'm taking tomorrow off, too, to clear my head a little bit and focus all on this assignment. I'm pretty sure I have enough sick time to cover it and school is more important. I feel mildly bad but I need to pass all my classes. Here's to figuring this shit out tomorrow. Maybe I will celebrate with a whisky.





*_{the abbreviation is MILF. i think i'm the only one there who finds that funny.}

Ha cha cha!

I'm going to make all of my Christmas presents this year. I have some really awesome patterns for some really neat gifts and I'm poor. So people can benefit from my creativeness. I need to get on that soon, though. Since Thanksgiving will most likely be spent with just Boyfriend and I, I'll have plenty of time to get things done then.

There's a craft fair at the Fillmore Theater that I want to go to Saturday. It's called the Detroit Urban Craft Fair and it looks super awesome. I'm excited to find some cute/funky earrings to wear when I can finally wear different ones. I've been feeling so great about losing weight and even though there are moments when my willpower weakens but I really feel great most of the time.

I'm slowly weeding out library positions I do not want. Tonight I went on a tour of the Beaumont Hospital Library. The librarian was very nice and she told us a lot of information but I just can't see myself working in a hospital. There are too many rules to follow and there's virtually no leeway. I was able to get into the special libraries class I wanted to take so I'm hoping that I'll gain some more insight after this semester. I'm still really thankful that this program is working out better than I could have ever imagined. I finally feel like the pieces are falling into place. International Librarianship seems the way that I'm still leaning and I can't wait for next Fall to take a class about that.

I do need to buckle down and finish my homework for this week. I've been wanting to finish my HTML assignment but whenever I try to, the server is down or some other bullshitty reason. Time to go to bed now, though. The Opera House is calling.

Getting to know you, er, me.

So I lied about posting three times yesterday. It turns out working at the library is quite busy. There's really no down time. And I really wanted to write about this specific thing but I couldn't get my brain to cooperate. So you'll get the half-baked version later in this post. I am happy to report that I got an oil change today. It was a leeetle bit overdue but it's done. And I bought winter boots. There's this vintage store that Boyfriend and I went to and I fell in love with a pair of pink cowboy boots. No, those weren't the winter boots. I really want them, though. Maybe it'll be my "losing all this weight and not having ice cream for months without cheating" present.

The thing that I've wanted to write about for a long time, well, since moving here I suppose, is why I did certain things before leaving Kalamazoo. What I mean by that is why I stopped talking to some people and how that has effected me, blah, blah, blah. Trust me, this is more for my closure than anyone else's. I figure if I finally write about it here, I'll stop thinking about it. Or for those who don't know, maybe it will make you understand a little better. Or I just haven't made any super personal posts. Make up your own reasons.

I'm not really going to go into what started my depression earlier this year, it was a number of things, but this isn't about what, it's about what happened after. It could be said that I have had bad experiences picking friends and groups of friends. People that aren't that supportive or who always see me as an outsider or people who don't really let me be myself or start to leave when I change out of their ideal Lauren. Whatever that is. So let's just say that I was depressed. Really depressed. The worst since high school. And I've always been someone to put people's happiness before mine. I guess this was the breaking point. I eventually started talking to Boyfriend about it and he was supremely supportive and still is. This is how I know we are awesome together. That, and we're super adorable. It's a fact. Anyway, when I tried to talk to one of my closest friends, she didn't believe me. So I shut down. I felt that I couldn't say anything to her because it didn't matter. I tried to talk to her multiple times about things but it never worked. Part of it was that I could have probably found better ways to say what I wanted to say, but another part of it was her changing attitude, I believe. She'd been getting more negative about things and I began to feel left out of my group of friends. I know, I can have this feeling a lot. But when there are people that are blatantly telling you "oh, well, we went to this movie but it was at night and we know you work in the morning so we just didn't bother calling you", it kind of hurts.

What I did next was to do the only thing I thought could save me. I started seeing a counselor to sort through all my thoughts. I had seen a counselor in high school and been put on anti-depressants then so I knew how counseling could help me. The psychiatrist also prescribed Prozac for me. He said that when someone is diagnosed as clinically depressed, it's because there's a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected. This person can have depression effect them in different ways. My way happens to be cyclical. I can go for months without feeling any sadness or anymore than a tiny bit blue, but then there can be one month where I'm crying at everything and get paranoid. He said that it was my choice to take the Prozac or not to take it. I chose to take it. Because of how it effected me before, and because I was afraid of what might happen if I didn't take it.

I made the decision to tell this close friend what I was going through because I missed her and it was really hard for me to keep things from her. I knew she thought counseling was stupid and that medication was unnecessary. But I thought that because we were really close, it wouldn't matter. That she'd be supportive and understand why I needed to do this. That didn't happen at all. I told her and I felt attacked. She didn't want to understand why I did this and why I chose this. She just thought it was the wrong decision. This broke my heart. Completely. I wanted to change her mind and I even thought that maybe she was right, maybe I reacted out of desperation and didn't really need the counselor or medication. Then I tried to get up the next morning. It was so hard to get out of bed and go to the same job every day where I felt small. It was so difficult to want to get up and take a shower. I knew that I made the right decision for me. And I knew that there were people who supported me and wanted me to be happy, even if it meant seeing a counselor and taking meds. If it stopped me from hurting myself, that's what they wanted.

I stopped talking to her, almost completely. I stopped talking to other people, too. People that were from that same group of friends. I couldn't stand the paranoia of thinking what they must be thinking of me. And I couldn't stand how much my heart hurt that these close friends didn't care at all. It certainly helped that I knew I was going to be moving and I used that as an excuse for a new beginning. I still miss those friends a lot but I can't be around people who don't support me. I can't be the person that supports all of these people and gets nothing in return. That's not who I am. I don't think that was ever who I was. I tried that suit on and it didn't fit comfortably. I need to look out for myself and I think that's okay. I have a wonderful boyfriend and great friends who do support me. I realized who my true friends are finally.

I'm happy to be living on this side of the state and away from all of those bad feelings. Yes, I do feel bad sometimes and I feel like maybe I fucked up, but it doesn't matter. I started to listen to what I want and making my own decisions. I still take the Prozac because I feel that it really helps me sort through my bad feelings I have sometimes. But it helps. And I'm thankful that I found a solution.

ugh

This was the first weekend in... I can't even remember how long, that I didn't have homework or a million things to do. So I relished it and didn't do anything. Except make food and hang out with Eric. And watch a lot of ridiculous television. The thing about not having cable is that when I feel like just zoning out in front of the TV, it ends up being to something like "Antiques Roadshow". Seriously. And I sometimes think it's interesting. Maybe this library program is getting to me. Or I just really want to own a piece of furniture that's 200 years old. Anyway, to make up for not posting for a couple of days, I'm going to post a few times today. I have some weird stories from the library. And some boring cat stories. Maybe I'll save those for a really slow news day.

Is there such a thing as too much water?

About a month ago, I bit the bullet and implemented a "lifestyle change": my diet. I don't really restrict what I eat but how much. I have a food scale, weigh my meat (that's what she said), and measure my vegetables. I make sure to have four servings of vegetables, three fruits, two proteins, and a few simple starches. I'm also taking a multi-vitamin. To make a boring story short, it's been a month and I've lost ten pounds, five and a half inches off my waist, and two off my hips. I feel really great about everything. This has taught me to cook my own food, watch what I'm eating and how much, and not to drink pop and crap like that.

I am wondering if I'm drinking too much water. I'm drinking the "recommended" amount of at least eight glasses a day. But I don't really measure the glasses of water. And I haven't really felt like drinking anything else but water. I mean, after half a can of diet coke, I'm sick of it. I guess it's ok. I'm probably over-analyzing this. But I feel awesome and I'm really glad I'm doing this. I just hope I can keep this up for, oh, the rest of my life. But I do miss beer and pizza. Delicious, delicious pizza.

suzy farbman: on fashion

I'm going to try and create some kind of theme here. I've been finding these hilarious pictures while doing my archiving and I thought I'd share them here. I have recently finished doing the 70s operas but here's this gem:


I found this gentleman in a folder for... "Don Giovanni" I think. This has nothing to do with opera but everything to do with fashion. In case you can't read the text, it says:

Here's a sample of the the classy man is wearing these days. At right, the herringbone suit never dies. This one is priced at $170; the wool challis tie is $10. Below, the classy man of leisure may wear this toned down casual suit, a military look with matching jacket and pants ($80), with a printed sport shirt ($25).

It also goes on to talk about other pages that I couldn't find. But here's the "classy man of leisure".


You're welcome.

"the times, they are a-changin'"

Wow, America, wow. 52% of Americans want Barack Obama as president and now it has come true. I could not be more grateful. This does wonders to break down race barriers and culture barriers. Wow.

Things at work were interesting this morning. My direct boss is super conservative and so is another guy who hangs around our department. They started going on and on about how people are going to be sorry, taxes are going to go up (uhh... they were going to go up anyway, dudes), this is not the magical cure for America. Then the guy (not by boss) go up in my co-workers grill and said "it's because of motherfuckers like you that this happened!" Holy crap. Yes, I'm happy. But I'm not shouting at the top of my lungs about it. Yes, I would have been crushed if Obama lost. But I wouldn't go around cursing conservative co-workers. That is not the solution, my friends. That is just perpetuating the same hate and ignorance this country does not need. It's time for us Americans to be seen as more than slack-jawed yokels with extreme power. I want to know that if I ever live abroad, I can be proud of my country for being progressive and correcting its racial prejudice. That's all.

This also means that a vow I took last week must come to pass. I told myself that if Obama wins I would get my ears pierced. So here goes. After 26 years of never having my ear lobes messed with, I'm doing it. Wish me luck!

Election Night 2008

This is an official badge. So I'm really doing this.


So voting didn't take that long at all. Well, about a half an hour. Then we went to get a free coffee at Starbucks to commemorate the event. And then I bought a lot of vegetables. Awesome. Today also marked my day of being officially ten pounds lighter. Hurray! This "lifestyle change" is really working. I'm going to keep it up the best I can when I'm done with the actual process. It's really helped me to realize what kind of crap I put into my body and how it affects me.

At the library tonight, someone brought back a juvenile book called "Women of the WWE". I had no idea this book existed. Or that kids would want to read about the women wrestlers. But there it was. Another woman checked out a book by Sylvia Browne and I wanted SOOO badly to to tell her that Sylvia Browne is a total scam and her books are awful but I'm supposed to be non-partisan (or whatever the librarian equivalent would be) so I said nothing. But man, Sylvia Browne totally sucks.

I'm off to watch the news coverage obsessively all night. I swear, if Obama doesn't win I'm calling into work tomorrow.

aw, snap!

Ok, so I totally didn't post yesterday. I'll tell you what I was doing though.

For those who don't know this, I'm attending Wayne State University and I'm in the Masters for Library and Information Science program. I'm just finishing up my first semester and I am excited about this program but frustrated at the beginner classes. So far, one of my favorite things I've learned is how to hand code HTML and CSS. This week I plan on working on that a littler more because it's a giant puzzle. I type in these weird commands and scripts and then it turns into a beautiful website. It's pretty cool.

I had this huge assignment due yesterday for one of my classes. It involved looking up a couple of topics in ten different sources each. All of the paper indexes are in the basement of the library that my classes are in. That's all that's in the basement. I would have been a little more creeped out but there were a couple of other girls from a different class working on the same assignment. So I worked really hard, for four hours today and two hours yesterday, trying to finish this assignment. It totaled 35 pages and then I had to print out page from the on-line sources and make copies of the print sources. I got to class early, giant assignment in hand, and my friend Lindsay said, "Oh, I don't think that's due in another couple of weeks. We had this other assignment [that is way easier and NOT 35 pages long] due." Great. The upside is that I talked to the professor and she was very impressed that I got this done in one week (I just hope it doesn't turn out to be crap) and used it to illustrate to the rest of the class how you would go about starting this assignment. And I can turn the other assignment in whenever I get a chance.

I'll probably post again tonight seeing as how it's Election Day and I'm going to the polls soon but also working at a library that is a polling place later. Oh, the stories!

decisions, decisions

I called my parents to ask them to vote for Barack Obama yesterday. It turns out that they already planned on it. Hurray! That makes me feel a lot better about the state of things. I know that the whole world wants Barack Obama to win and so do I. I get so sick of listening to the one-issue voters and closet (or, not closeted in some cases sadly) racists. The fact is that he is ready to lead our country. This country shouldn't worry about whether or not gays can marry but that we make sure America isn't going to go down the crapper.

There are some big decisions being made over here. I won't say too much but I'm really excited for this next year to get under way. I think it will change things for the better. Part of me can't believe it's so close. But I can almost get a grasp on my whole life for the first time. Which takes a lot of pressure off these shoulders. I'm also down almost ten pounds due to my lifestyle nutrition changes. I have a lot to go but it's getting easier as the days go by.

Here's to this next week!

Let the games begin!

Ok, so this is my first post of the month. It's officially November and I'm participating in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month in case your mind was in the gutter). I have to make one post a day for a whole month. I'm hoping that this will force me to blog more often. On to panda pictures!


This is my face makeup. The regular receptionist said that I looked "scary". Some other people didn't know what I was. I tried to make my hair into two little buns to appear as ears but I didn't get them up high enough. And I usually wear glasses but I had to wear contacts which made my eyes tired. I think next year I will go as Babraham Lincoln, a sexy version of Abe Lincoln.

I wanted to upload a full picture of my costume but for some reason, it wouldn't show up as vertical, only horizontal. Does anyone know some HTML code or something to rotate a picture? It's rotated in my iPhoto but not when I go to the "upload picture" button. I would appreciate the help.

Here's to a month of blogging!