The Nutcracker Suite, or how ridiculous one fifth (or fourth) grader can be.

Yesterday at the Opera House, our supervisor let us sit in on the first act of the Joffrey Ballet's The Nutcracker. It started last night and ends this weekend and the building was filled with tiny ballerinas. This was my first time seeing a "show" at the Opera House and I would love to see a full one, a real opera and not a ballet Christmas thing. The acoustics were amazing. Seeing a real opera in that space would be wonderful.

The Nutcracker reminded me of when I was in elementary school and my class performed the play. I can't really remember what grade I was in, either I was in fourth or fifth grade. And I can't remember if the whole school was involved or if it was just the grade that I was in. Anyway, what I do remember is that I was one of the Chinese Tea Dancers. We were all a bunch of elementary schoolers so it wasn't really a "ballet" but more of a "play with lots of movement." As the Chinese Tea Dancers, we had to make our own teacups to wear on our heads. I remember I made mine out of styrofoam (when I say "I made" I really mean "Dad made the form and I decorated it with glitter"). To make it look more believable, I glued brown felt on the top that was made uneven (like a teacup full of tea would be if it were on a kid's head) for a more "realisitc" look. I also remember wearing my friend Mary's authentic kimono, although it was Japanese and we were Chinese Dancers. But whatever. We were little.

My other really big memory of putting on The Nutcracker was trying to keep a girl in my class away from the boy that I liked. His name was Billy and I had liked him since Kindergarten. Our families went to the same church and he used to chase me on the playground. I used to think that we would grow up and get married? Or something? I'm not sure I knew what that really was when I was that young. Anyway, This girl in my class was obsessed with him and she was part of the Flower Girl Dance so they got prettier costumes and didn't have to wear teacups. I was kind of a tomboy which is why I think I wished I were a Flower Girl. I remember this girl talking about how she was going to kiss Billy and tell him that she liked him at some time during the performance. Billy had a big part in the production, I think, and I remember being super bothered, not only that she would actually say that to him, but that he might want her to! I tried to find Billy before the show started so I could tell him. We'd always been friends so I thought I should "let him know." I did find him and I did tell him but I think all he said was, "oh, ok. Thanks." I'm pretty sure that the girl never ended up telling him that she liked him or kissing him (I'm pretty sure I was in fifth grade, when kissing was still a super new concept).

The funny thing is, I liked Billy almost up until high school. I mean, like liked him. Then in high school, I didn't really care anymore. The last time I saw him, it was when I worked at Barnes & Noble after graduation. I was in this "I'm too cool for the people I used to know" phase of teendom so I pretended that I didn't know/remember him. When he clearly was trying to catch up with me. How ridiculous, right?

I'm thankful that I'm at a place in my life where I don't have to pretend to be myself. And I'm thankful that I'm with someone (not Billy, ha ha, that would have been super ridiculous) who let's me be myself and wouldn't care if I were a Chinese Tea Dancer or a Flower Girl.

interview, schminterview, i nailed that!

I had an interview today at the Southfield Public Library. I basically forced myself upon the library a couple of weeks ago when my class visited. This is the most beautiful library I have ever, ever seen. I had applied for a Library Aide position there a few months ago so after the tour, I talked to a woman who worked there and explained my situation and could I apply for the Intern position they had? Because it's a Youth Intern position, she gave me the name of the Youth Services Director. I decided to call a few days later, while being frustrated with my job. I scored an interview! They still had my resume on file!

I went down during my lunch hour for the interview and was a little late. The library has this massive parking lot and the offices were up on the third floor so I sprinted toward the entrance and up the stairs. I scared this woman ahead of me because she was trying to walk at a normal pace and I just charged up behind her. I was totally out of breath as I walked into the office but I tried to calm down as best I could. I apologized for being late and the librarians were the nicest ever. I feel pretty confident that even if I didn't get the job, this was the best interview I've ever had. This internship would give me a huge opportunity. I would be responsible for maintaining an aspect of the collection, giving school tours, and a million other things. They did ask me how well I work with children and I was completely honest. I said that I've been getting better at relating to them but that I've had minimal experience dealing with them in real world settings (read: babies kind of scare me). I was completely serious when I said that I would love to have more experience with children and that although I am not super wonderful around kids, I'm really passionate about the library field. Even if it turns out that I don't want to go into Public Librarianship, I know this would be good for me.

Because it's becoming winter and the season is effecting my mood, I've been a little more contemplative about my place in this world. I am very glad that I decided to join this program. It's funny because I've loved to read since I was little but never seriously considered librarianship, as far as I know. During the interview, they asked me why I chose this field. I said that I originally wanted to get my MFA but there was a set back (read: I got depressed after not getting accepted right away) so I chose Wayne. I think that I am way happier in this program than I would be as an MFA student. I feel a lot less self-conscious and I feel that this is really something I could be good at. I'm getting an amazing amount of support from my friends, relatives and Boyfriend. It just feels right.